Friday, February 22, 2008

This Ain't My First Rodeo...

...or is it?

As a first time parent eight years ago with WB, I remember the growing confidence I felt with each milestone. The first time you figure out what makes your kid tick...the first time you provide the answer, the support, the soothing that makes everything better ignites a warmth in your heart that is unparalleled. Since I nursed WB, I ALONE provided the magic tonic that stopped the crying and calmed the tears. It is a power and purpose that I've never been able to recreate.

I remember watching other mothers and thinking, "how'd they know to do that?" I marveled at the random bits of knowledge they seemed to know and to relay. And, I remember when I was an experienced mother of 15 whole months, my little sister had twins and she actually gave me credit for knowing stuff about being a mother. She asked about brea$tfeeding, about pink eye, about puke and poop, as though I somehow had earned some credential and was worthy of offering advice.

With WB, each Dr. appointment was educational...this is pink for nostrils flaring....if he can’t breath, put him to sleep in his car seat...and so on. And then, WB was no longer a baby and his "issues" became both easier and more difficult to address. (But, for this discussion, we'll steer clear of those difficult school issues!) At eight, he can pretty much tell us when he has strep and when he has "squirty poop", and managing his life (again, outside of school) is easy, joyful, and rewarding.


and every day is filled with (as Oprah would say) "Ah ha moments". Even though I'd like to think I know something, truth be told I don't. She's entirely different. I can't always calm her and I don't have the answers, but it does get better as we learn more about each other. Still, it saddens me that sometimes I just can't figure this kid out.

For instance, we're on our 5th formula...and I know she had 3 different ones before we got her...and still pooping = trauma. Trauma like I've never seen in a baby...whaling, thrashing, screaming and tears. (Again the guilt settles in over not nursing this child!!)

Today, we are seeing the Dr. for the second time in two days. As he enters the room I say, "If you didn't know that I had another kid, wouldn't you think that I'm a neurotic first-time mother?" I’m glad he knows me well enough to laugh.

We saw him yesterday for green snot. Diagnosis: ear infection. Great. Two days of day care and an ear infection. We got medicine, but we also talked about poop as we have at every visit. We changed formula and learned about Gripe Water. We were to watch the poop and call if anything changed. So when the day care called me this afternoon about an unusual bloody-looking diaper, I go pick up the babe and the double-bagged diaper and head to the doctor's office.

Now, back to the original thought of learning unusual things during your parenting experience and becoming one of those "how'd they know that?" expert, kinda moms...It seems that an extremely rare (he's seen it twice before) side effect of Cefdinir is that it can combine with the iron in formula and cause bloody mucus-like looking diapers.

Didn't I feel stupid? But honestly, this is one that you can only know through experience. Our day care provider changed WB’s diapers and has changed thousands between my two kids and she didn’t know. But now I know, and now you know too.

Unfortunately the larger poop issue will likely take a detailed study to resolve, but every day she smiles when she hears my voice, and reaches for “da mama” to calm and reassure her. And even though I know it is silly, I often feel unworthy because it’s humbling to learn that you know a lot less than you gave yourself credit for. Yet, I anxiously await the next lesson in parenting that I’ll receive from this little girl.

But we are gonna try and give Dr. A a break until next Wednesday when we see him for our six-month check up. Three visits in seven days...God Bless the $5 co-pay!


The Efirds said...

I completely understand how you feel! With our first son, Xavier you learn so much. Think you have it all down and then baby sister comes along! Xavier suffered from ear infections. He never didn't have one. I was prepared for ear infections with Naia. BUT she doesn't have ear problems, she has asthama and swollen tonsils. We're learning a whole new set of medical problems this go round! I can't even imagine what baby #3 will teach us! Good luck with everything!

Scott and Leslie said...

My life sounds almost exactly like yours. We can figure out what is going on with Owen usually before it happens. Then, Miss Avery, our drama just never know. I feel like forwarding my entire pay check to the doctors office and pharmacy! Hang in there!

Adoption Timeline

  • 01/01/08 - Home at Last
  • 12/24/07 - G & R
  • 12/18/07 - Travel
  • 12/7/07 - Travel Packet/VISA Authorization
  • 12/06/07 - I-600 Approval
  • 11/16/07 - I-600 Received for Review
  • 09/26/07 - Referral
  • 03/23/07 - Log in Date
  • 02/23/07 - Dossier to Vietnam
  • 02/08/07 - Dossier to Agency
  • 08/08/06 - Switched to Vietnam Program from China Program